Naturally

I was born with a tight coil pattern to my hair, we've been conditioned to call it nappy. I never got to know my hair, my choice was taken from me, from my mother, and her mother, and her mother before her, before we ever got acquainted.  At the root of this problem, literally, was a texture unfamiliar to the people who told us or classified it as "nappy". It was natural. Natural for them to not understand, or maybe they did. Maybe they understood that the natural strength in my hair was a testament to my natural strength. That if something so resilient, so course and determined was able to grow on the outside, that the same resilience could grow on the inside. 

So, in an attempt to keep me subdued and compliant, my hair became a symbol of intolerance. Heat, straightening combs, and chemical alterations followed suit. They tried to rape the kinkiness out of my hair and the color out of my skin. So now, in a time where all things are attainable, and self awareness is prevalent, why do I have to be called a "nappy headed nigger" from the people I love the most? Are they so insecure in what they have naturally, that they turn to derogatory words and old world sarcasms to disagree with a decision that they were never asked to partake in.

My  hair is my choice. I am more than my hair. I am more than any words you can think of to describe your opinion of my choice. How can I be the best me, when I've run from the most basic part of me my whole life? My journey to this place has been mine alone for reasons that are mine alone and I do not have to explain my kinkiness to you.