There was a discussion on the radio this morning asking the question if you can be in love with 2 people at the same time? People differentiate "love" and "being in love" with someone as two distinct and different phases of love. Talking about love for me at times is like talking about politics and religion, you're never going to see eye to eye 100% and you run the risk of alienating people because of your true beliefs. People tend to vocalize only the parts of their definition of “love” and “being in love” that seems appropriate for the audience in which the discussion is taking place. I too, am a victim of this, let me explain.
"Love" is a topic that I very seldom feel comfortable articulating, publicly or privately. I know for sure the way I love and the love I need are different now than when I was in my 20's and surely it will be different throughout the years moving forward. The love I witnessed growing up was complex and all over the place, yet it was “love”. I witnessed unconditional love, deeply committed love, people who were “in love”, people who loved more than one person at a time, and love, that at times was so toxic, it bordered on insanity. But to each person and each situation, it was “love”.
I looked for a text book definition, which in today’s world meant I went online. First up, www.Dictionary.com’s definition of “love”:
1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2. a feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
3. sexual passion or desire.
4. a person toward whom love is felt; beloved person; sweetheart.
5. (used in direct address as a term of endearment, affection, or the like): Would you like to see a movie, love?
.....and of course I had to Google the definition of “love”. This is the first search result -
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Love is an emotion of a strong affection and personal attachment. Love is also said to be a virtue representing all of human kindness, compassion, and affection ...
Nowhere in either of the definitions does it say that “love” or the act of being “in love” is exclusive to one person, place or thing. It’s hard for me to explain my definition of love except that it is unconventional and unwavering, genuine and true. I try not to explain my love except to the person for which a definition is needed and even then sometimes, the words don’t come out right. There are a host of other words that are related to “love” and I think people confuse them with “love” like intimacy, commitment, security, relationships, etc. We make conscious decisions to carry out those terms in a manner in which we think best compliments our “love”, however that is not “love”, it’s how we express our “love”.
So to answer the question, can you be in love with 2 people at the same time? My answer is simply, yes.
